It's six in the morning and I haven't gotten any sleep. I've been staring at this screen listening to some grand music ( Miles Davis, Common, Sam Cooke ) trying to think of a new write up. Then it hit me as I looked over to my muted television screen - I saw a Girls Gone Wild commercial.
This is talking about some of the females in my generation ( I'm 23. Pretty much the typical age of a Bazards Team Member).
They go out on television and video tape themselves, being wild. Or even more annoyingly take pictures of themselves on a toilet with a scrunched up face to put on facebook and/or myspace. Ladies, let me tell you something as a straight male - that is far from sexy. I don't even get in the mood or think, "Man I hope my girlfriend sits on the toilet tonight and scrunches up her face. "
I'm not against women feeling sexy. I think everyone should feel confident in themselves and once in a while look in the mirror and go "GOD DAMN I'M FINE." That's great! But once again, I doubt any of the females who take pictures of themselves are on the toilet looking over saying "GOD DAMN I'M FINE."
I've heard one reason for the toilet picture is to show they are fun. Once again, I never think "Man, I hope that girl sits on a toilet later. That would be a lot of fun." Everyone has their fetish and all but I doubt toilets are involved with many of them. ( Gene Simmons - say nothing. --- Hopefully someone got that joke. Probably 'Bazard' did. )
Also a lot of these girls want to be respected by men and find a "good man". Now when you're half naked, grinding on Girls Gone Wild. I must say "She's wife material" probably doesn't run through too many heads.
And later on in life, these women will want respectful jobs ( modeling toilets maybe? ) and there is a chance that they were in such things as Girls Gone Wild could come up and effect that chance. I'm not saying it will come up but it could.
Once again, believing that you are sexy is a good thing ( for the most part, sometimes it makes me want to vomit. ) And if you want to show off your body is a respectable manner to a bunch of people you don't know, so they can lust over you - choose Playboy. It's far more classy. It gives the feel of "Hey, I'm a gorgeous lady. But I still have a real job." This is all coming from someone who is suppose to be liberal.
Point is, women if you want to be respected by men you have to respect yourself first.
It also doesn't help that
It also doesn't help that most of the female idols of our generation are famous for being drunken hoes.
Yeah, having Paris Hilton,
Yeah, having Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie & Britney Spears being the front runners of media news does suck.
Woman is a curious thing. We
Woman is a curious thing.
We want her soft. We want her pretty. We want her hair and thighs just so. She should smell like this...walk like that. Dirty like this...sweet like that. Her kiss should be fire, her touch streaming water. When you touch your hand to the small of her back, feel the angel-demon struggle in her. After all, we want her for a lover...and a mother. How is she to know which, when? The quiet friend who loves your soul, you dismiss; you cannot find the lover in her. The painted girl who strokes your neck, you dismiss; you cannot find the mother in her. You yourself discourage the growth of one in the other. Thoughts to friends; bodies to lovers. We take of each that which has rooted first and taken hold. And by doing so, we perpetuate those same qualities, rarely allowing - or even desiring - the union of both. So you do not think of marriage when you see the bare-chested girl perched on the toilet. Do you think of it when an old friend coughs and sips from your glass? Do you imagine one has not wished once that she was the other? Would you take her if she were?
Do we know what we want?
Perhaps what is truly curious is us.
Nice reply. I'm pretty sure
Nice reply.
I'm pretty sure I have an idea of the type of woman I'd like to marry, and have my children if we decide to have them. Though women have to play as many roles as guys do. Rhetorical questions are fun but I'll go ahead and address them. No I don't see a girl who takes picture on a toilet as wife material or even remotely attractive, I'd rather a girl cough and have some of my drink. The two are very different things, the toilet is a cry for attention and to show people that she's fun & wild. While the cough + sip combo, isn't a polar opposite of it - that's more of sharing without restraint. It would've been better if you compared the toilet monster & a girl reading a book. Pretty much polar opposites in my mind, I'm not criticizing just answering.
I understand the confusion.
I understand the confusion. It was late and I got lost in my own thoughts. In fact, I believe I may have spun a new topic, using the original article as a springboard. I think what I was trying to point out was that (at least in my experience, and that of my friends) we have a tendency to categorize girls into two sets: lovers and friends. I don't mean to speak for every man in his early twenties, but I have found that we generally pursue a girl based on how she fits into our ideal of female sexuality. Whether she's the girl with the great legs and intense gaze or the the one doing a lap dance for a toilet seat, is certainly a matter of personal taste. The women we want to date are the women we are attracted to; the women we are attracted to are those who fit into our particular ideal for lovers. Generally, that doesn't include friends. She's usually a stranger at a party or a friend of a friend. In my previous comment, I believe I specified that the cough-sipper was an old friend. Even if that same old friend were also the "toilet monster" (or anyone else for that matter) it's still fairly unlikely that you would let yourself think of her romantically. Which brings me back to the question, do we really know what we want? As I said before, our ideals for both lovers AND mothers are rarely embodied in one woman. Or at least, it seems so to many of us. A couple of years ago, a girl I have been friends with for a long time told me that she cared for me and hoped that we could have a relationship. I declined as delicately as I could. She was very disappointed and our friendship suffered, but I just couldn't see her in the light of a lover. She was pretty in her way, but I never felt the potential for passion, or "sparks". In the following year, I dated several girls with great passion, but I would find myself sometimes thinking, "what if?" What if I had dated my friend? I already loved her because we shared a meaningful history together as friends. I had few memories that she was not part of, and all of those memories were of good times. She was dependable, she was funny, she didn't want to change me- and I wouldn't change her. We are both seeing other people now, but I still wonder and resent the lack of reason in my decisions of the heart. Don't get me wrong; I love my girlfriend. But think how much more I could have shared with my friend. I think that as a culture we give of ourselves too freely and yet we have such impossibly high standards for love. We have hundreds of "friends" on myspace and facebook- people we don't even know -and yet we have the audacity to believe we will recognize love when we see it. But we don't. Because real love doesn't announce itself with fireworks, shooting stars, or any other Hollywood bells and whistles. It just IS. Love is only love, and it's wonderful enough.
There again, I've completely lost track of the topic at hand, but it's hard not to get on a public soap box when you have the power of anonymity. What are your thoughts?
My assumption is that the
My assumption is that the topic is "why women aren't generally seen to be lovers & friends to males in their 20s":
I agree with you completely that generally speaking 20 something guys separate the two. But the rant was more or less from just my eyes, I hadn't really put thought into what a lot of other males were thinking. Would I date someone I've known for a while? It all depends on who they are & how I felt about them. Would I go on a date with someone I thought was attractive but knew little about them? Yes I would. In a way to get to know them, and I think it's fair to say physically attraction usually comes first for dating. I can not read minds so I can not know their goals & interests in life. But just because a girl is my friend, doesn't mean I should want to date her. Without a "spark" or romantic interest, I wouldn't go after her. When it comes to a friend wanting to date you, and you don't feel the same see James Ingram's "I Don't Have The Heart" song.
Back to two categories, I agree. Also a lot of males seem to think when another says "she should hang out more often" that there is an interest of dating - when sometimes it's far from the truth. Usually I would say it because they are funny or enjoyed talking to them. Then again, most of the guys I notice who think that want to hump everything in sight.
Relationships should be based on the other being your lover & friend at I guess in the 20 somethings, when people are really getting to know who they are ( that age varies for everyone, I'm basing this on myself and some friends ) and what they want in life. What I wanted in a girlfriend at 18 is very different then what I want now, and I expect that for others as well. That's why I think sometimes relationships going from high school years through college years are messy - since both people change and see the world differently. If I had kept dating someone from that age to now, it wouldn't be a good relationship. People change so much in these years in life from experience, it's hard to keep up with what the other one wants & NEEDS in a relationship. And sometimes people just get comfortable in a relationship and rather use that then trying something different.
I lost track of where I was going with that.
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